F*ck Whales by Maddox

Author:Maddox
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books

FUCK BODIES

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Virtual reality will make bodies irrelevant. Everything about your shitty body can be fixed in virtual reality, and if you already have a great body, fuck your body anyway. There is life before virtual reality and life after virtual reality. Not that shitty, jittery virtual reality of the early 1990s, with flat-shaded polygons and stupid blocky vistas. There will be a new wave of virtual reality, with full sensory perception, realistic graphics and tactile feedback. It’s only a matter of time before virtual reality can interface directly with our brains to trigger any sensory or motor stimulation that we experience. There’s nothing that virtual reality can’t simulate, short of abstract recursive simulations that theoretical physicists talk about, but nobody cares about that. Go home, nerds.

Virtual reality is better than reality. I can’t wait to turn it on, plug in and tune out of life forever. Every single experience I can have in real life can be replicated and enhanced in virtual reality. Why bother with people, bodies and things you don’t like? Everything you don’t like about yourself can be changed instantly in virtual reality. Want to fix your dumpy ass and busted stomach? No problem. Want a hotter partner? Trivial. Want to eat lunch in Paris? Sure thing, Jacques. Nearly anything is possible in virtual reality, and the experience is not only comparable to real life, but it’s also better for so many reasons. For example, going on a vacation to a distant country can be fun and rewarding, but it costs a lot of time and money. It requires taking time off work, and what you can do or see may be limited by language or cultural barriers. In virtual reality, you can have the same experience with none of the drawbacks. Why would anyone care about going anywhere ever again if they can have the same or better experience in virtual reality? And there’s nothing stopping you from combining awesome experiences in virtual reality, so enjoy that trip through Luxembourg Gardens in a triceratops-shaped monster truck with machine-gun horns!

One argument that can be made for traveling in real life over virtual reality is that life can afford you the opportunities to meet strangers in a distant land, due to unforeseen circumstances. For example, the people you might meet unexpectedly when you take shelter from the rain in a small café, or a local shop owner who might give you memorable service. Or you might meet a nice couple who run a family-owned bed-and-breakfast. Or maybe you’ll meet some other excited travelers in a hostel, who trade travel tips with you. All of those experiences can be had in virtual reality, only better. The nice couple running a bed-and-breakfast can be nicer, swinging and down to bang. The beds can be bigger, the food more varied, and instead of rain, you can be taking shelter from lava, soup or an alien invasion. By comparison, life is boring.

All of those seemingly “random” events that happen in real life can occur virtually as well.

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